When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
