I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
