He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
