yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
