): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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