if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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