summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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