I'd wear matching sweaters with you
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
