Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
