I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
