Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
