I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
is it fun? or sober?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
