a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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