okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
