You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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