He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
