we have pet lesbian snakes
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
