I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
