oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
