Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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