So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
