physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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