Got a toothbrush?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
