My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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