i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
