If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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