I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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