We're like a lot better than the average bears
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
