Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
