the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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