I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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