Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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