Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
