question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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