you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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