I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
