I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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