I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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