I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
