If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
