would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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