Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
