I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
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