something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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