How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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