12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We need to get me chipped asap
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
