Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
