Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
