The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
