I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
