It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
