Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
