there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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