East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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